How not to practice law update

Here is an update on the how not to practice law list so far (each item is a link to its own post/story):

ask client to pay fees with drugs

insult the judge (preferably in writing)

write a bad brief

don't ever read anything before publishing it in the press (if you are lucky it will have a racist statement in it)

if you make a mistake, lie to cover it up

pay your bar dues with a check from your client's account

convince clients to give you title of their house so they avoid foreclosure, then get them evicted

let the client dictate (bad) strategy

ask client to pay fees with sex

park in the handicapped parking spot

lie

get married when you are already married

show up to court drunk

have affair with married woman, then agree to represent her husband in divorce

when interviewing an applicant for a secretary position tell her that having sex with you is part of the job

try to recover expenses from your client after you agreed not to do it

provide the wrong citation to key cases so the judge goes nuts trying to find them

try to blackmail your opponents to get what you want

lie to the judge

take more work than you can handle

lie to the disciplinary committee

forge the judge's signature

ask for stolen property as payment for your services

rob a bank

be rude to the judge's clerk

don't proofread anything before you file it in court